Moving on

I took the above photo at a yoga & meditation retreat I attended recently. Actually, it was the same retreat I attended last year. Long-term readers will remember what was going on in my life right around that time. There’s been many changes in my life over the last year. This was an opportunity for me to not only feel more mindful and present, but to engage in a little self-reflection.

The gardens had wild rose bushes as you can see above. Wild roses are my favourite. I first discovered them on a hike in Newfoundland:

Wild Rose in Tickle Cove, Newfoundland

At the retreat, our instructor had written out little affirmations that we could pick from an envelope; they were statements that we could reflect on during our practice.  I picked one that said, “now is the perfect time to let go.”

This weekend, I am letting go.  I’m packing. In a couple of weeks, I will literally be moving on. I’m not changing cities, but I am changing apartments. My current apartment is beautiful, but housing costs take up 65% of my income (every time I think about that I hear a line from TTDUP ring in my head: “No one can afford to spend 65% of their income on housing!” My new apartment lacks the luxuries of my current place, but will give me a little more financial breathing room. It will also be a change - a good change - as it’s an opportunity to say goodbye to some of the ghosts of my past. It will be a new space, and all my own.

Packing is not easy. You discover things you had long forgotten about - old photos, to-do lists, letters, trinkets, and they are all loaded with memories. In studying an object that you see every day, contemplating what to do with it, you realize that something you long considered benign is actually heavy with meaning. Packing is like lifting up a log in the forrest - you see all little insects crawling around underneath it that have long gone unnoticed.

As I write this, I sit comfortably on my loveseat, which faces the balcony.  It is close enough to see the water droplets hanging on the balcony railing. The view is all green - green trees for miles. On my balcony I’m growing herbs. Butternut watches the plants shake in the wind. I can hear the birds singing proudly. Their joyful songs dwarf any lingering traffic noise. My apartment is a perfect retreat. I hope that in my new place I can recreate the same kind of peace.

DIY power generation

I normally don’t post about local events, because I have readers from all the country - and the globe - but this event is too cool not to mention. This weekend in Toronto, Subtle Technologies is having a workshop on how to build your own power generator out of, well, trash.  The amount of power generated will not be enough to power your entire home, but it will be sufficient to power a small gadget like an ipod or cell phone.  Personally, I’ve wanted to create something like this for a while but didn’t know how to start. This little workshop is uber practical, because you walk out the door with your own little power generator, not to mention the skills to build on and share this craft with others. Here are the details of this cool project:

On the Bruce

I hope that all of my Canadian readers enjoyed a relaxing long weekend. I spent a good portion of my weekend in one of my favourite places in the whole world: the Bruce trail. I live too far away for a weekend jaunt up to its prime region (the Georgian Bay escarpment) but I did two day trips on the trail in the Halton Hills area instead.

Day one was especially wonderful. I went with my dad. We hiked for 5 hours, and only ran in to one person - an older gentleman who was doing some geocaching along with his friendly canine companion. The day was wet and rainy, which turned out to be perfect; it kept the temperature cool, and we got to enjoy sensory treats like smelling that fresh “rain” smell and listening to the rain drops land gently on the leafy canopy above us.  My second hike was with friends; we went to a more popular spot and bounced back and forth between the Bruce trail and side trails.  This route was easier and took us about 4 hours to complete.

On our hike today we passed a small boy who was with his Mom and Dad. The boy was looking at a caterpillar. The Dad asked the son, “what do you think it’s going to turn into? What do you think that caterpillar is going to become?” My heart melted. I love seeing children outdoors, learning about nature, learning to respect small creatures, learning to treat the world with gentleness.

Whenever I take time to go on a hike or spend time in nature, I’m always humbled by how much there is to see and how much there is to learn.  We Canadians (and Americans) are lucky enough to live in countries with huge, vaulting vastness. The Bruce trail alone is 700 km long.  If solitude is what you’re looking for, you can find it. If you crave self-reflection, the trail provides a perfect opportunity to get reacquainted with yourself.  If you are seeking curiosities or enjoy discovering new worlds, all it takes is a little patience to reveal the magnificent, private world of insects and plants, not to mention birds and other wildlife.

Furthermore, hiking is such a great form of exercise. It’s load-bearing, which means that it’s good for your bones, but it’s fun; no need to stare into space or into a TV blaring the news while jogging on a treadmill at the gym. Hiking creates opportunities for you to stay mentally engaged while strengthening your muscles and getting a good cardio-vascular workout.

What occurs to me is that everything I wrote above is free, save for a little gas in the car and good footwear. Pack a homemade lunch and you’re off.  The Bruce trail parking lots are all free. If you go to a conservation area you can expect to pay a bit more - usually between $4 and $6 a person - still not excessive.

When we get in touch with nature, we can gain a little perspective.  Like stargazing, hiking is a humbling activity; you realize that you are merely one creature out of millions, a tiny speck within massive eco-systems, full of life and mystery.  Suddenly our own problems don’t seem so significant.  It is peaceful, refreshing, enlivening. Most of us crave stress-relief. We crave peace. We seek relief through entertainment, through distractions, through malls, movie theatres, casinos and bars.  We take expensive vacations. We buy stuff. And yet there is so much at our fingertips, for free. So much that nourishes us. Right here, waiting for us.

Are you a lover of the Bruce trail? Do you love to hike? Where do you like to go to spend time in nature?

My upcoming staycation

I have decided to book a week off of work in August for a vacation. I’ve been mulling over what I’d like to do with my time off, and I’ve finally made my decision: it will be my very first Staycation.  My decision is partly influenced by financial limitations, but not entirely.  In fact, I made my decision while driving to work one day this week, when the weather happened to be absolutely perfect. I realized how much I would have liked to just enjoy the weather outside.  Being a grown-up means that we never really get to fully enjoy good summer weather and do the things that we used to do as children during summer holidays.  Lying out in the grass on a blanket, reading books under a tree, riding bikes… aren’t these the true pleasures of summer? As adults, we don’t get to enjoy what summer is really all about.

I love Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s ideas about staycations - especially her ideas about eating out, getting pedicures, and hiring a cleaning person to take care of the house! The trick, I think, with a staycation is to get out of your routine a bit; indulge yourself, and take a break from your normal routine.

Including the weekends, I will have exactly 9 days. Here’s how I plan on using my time off:

- Visit my parents, taking full advantage of their beautiful deck that faces a forrest and a popular bird feeder, to sun myself, drink cocktails, leaf through books, watch the birds and gaze in the sky

- Do some hiking

- Take walks/bike-rides in the park

- Go to the beach

- Visit antique stores and used book stores

- Treat myself to some of my favourite restaurants

- Do some outdoor yoga, either in the backyard of my parents’ place, a park, or a beach

- Go stargazing

- Eat ice cream

- Catch up with friends and have a BBQ (here’s looking at you, Nature Hogg)

My birthday also falls on that week. It’s a milestone birthday (well not technically but the last year of your 20s counts, right?) so I will need to find a way to celebrate that as well.

Things I won’t do:

- Check my work email

- Worry about work

- Schedule any appointments other than things that are fun

I plan on creating a little photo-diary of my staycation for the blog so I’ll be able to share the results with you.  I’m already looking forward to it!

Are you planning on taking a staycation this year?

Extreme frugality, classism & sustainability

I was quoted in the Globe in Mail a week ago in an article on Extreme Frugality.  And while I most certainly did not appreciate the journalist using the words “obsessive” and “compulsion” to describe some previous experiments with couponing and bargain-hunting (words I never would have used to describe myself) I thought I would put aside my complaints for now and focus on my thoughts about “extreme” frugality.

It’s a classist discussion

Whenever I hear talk of extreme frugality in the media, what bugs me is that there is always an assumption that everyone has the same means, the same financial resources, that everyone has enough - more than enough.  These articles always start from a certain vantage point, assuming that the people who use so-called extreme frugal measures do so in the context of a certain degree of wealth.  And I feel like this element needs to be considered when exploring extreme measures of frugality, because we don’t all have access to the same means. Many Canadians live in poverty. Many Canadians are faced with difficult financial choices. Many Canadians suffer from other complex issues that affect their choices, such as addiction and mental health issues. So when journalists and bloggers make fun of people who take “extreme” measures to meet their needs, it kind of bothers me, because certain realities - and certain people - are being ignored.

Arguments about extremism assume that debt is normal

Most people would consent that extreme measures are okay if it’s a matter of life and death, but what if it’s a matter of life and debt? If someone is using “extreme” frugal measures to live within their means, but does not technically have to, because they have access to credit, is that being responsible, or is it pathological? It’s a thought worth pondering. In the media, giving up luxuries for the sake of living within ones means is portrayed as extreme. But Gail Vaz-Oxlade argues that debt is not normal.

How I define extremism

However, I have my own limits. For me, I define frugality as being “too extreme” for my own lifestyle when it falls into one of the following categories:

- jeopardizing my health

- being unethical or taking advantage of others

- reducing my quality of life

- causing the decline of self-respect

- harming personal or professional relationships

During tough financial times, I aim to find ways of cutting back so that I don’t have to jeopardize the above. For the most part, it can be done, it just requires a lot of planning, a lot of creativity, a lot of hard work and a positive attitude.

Our throw-away culture: an environmental hazard

However, many of the “extreme” frugal measures listed in the Globe article may not necessarily compromise any of the above categories. The re-using of dental floss in particular strikes me as interesting, because the blogger who refused to post this tip recognized it as a safety concern.  Although I’ve never re-used dental floss (and don’t intend to) I don’t like the automatic repulsion to the idea of reusing things in our throw-away culture. We’re so used to buying and throwing away disposable items that we don’t stop to ask, “can this be reused?” Or, “is there an alternative to this product that doesn’t have to be thrown away?”  Recently I realized that I could, for example, reuse my aluminum foil.  I only discovered that it was reusable when I ran out of tinfoil and urgently required some, and decided to wash my last piece instead. It was like a lightbulb went off - “why am I not reusing this?”  Granted that this is hardly a life-changing realization, but it’s a simple of example of how we get used to throwing things away thoughtlessly, because “there’s always more where that came from”. We usually only question these habits when we’re in a position of scarcity - but sometimes that’s when we realize that we can actually make-do with less and do quite well. Maybe we need to start imagining scarcity in order to be a little more creative and a little more environmentally responsible.

So if someone finds a way to reduce their environmental impact by reducing or reusing, and it does not cause harm in any of the ways I listed above, are we right to call this extreme, or are we right to call this responsible?

An enviable life

I found myself telling the reporter that I live an “enviable” life. After all, I have a job that is well aligned with my values and that is meaningful to me, I am surrounded by natural beauty, and my home only contains posessions that reflect my personality, my loves, my passions. It is a simple, uncomplicated lifestyle that truly reflects my values.  Some of my practices would be considered extreme - not watching television, for example, or not having junk food in the house. These habits could be considered extreme by others, but to me, they just make sense - they enhance the quality of my life and my health.

Indeed, it’s taken me a while to find this balance. Partly, I think it’s about experimenting and discovering what’s important to you and what fits within your goals. Sometimes frugality and simplicity can complement each other but sometimes they are antagonistic to each other, and finding a way to align them has been my goal.  After a few years of experimentation, I can finally see them aligning into a nice balance.

What do you consider to be “too extreme” frugal behaviour?

Finding peace at home

Have you ever been tempted by a gorgeous photo of a dream vacation spot? The pictures usually include a woman with a gorgeous body, lying in a hammock over turquoise waters with a drink by her side. Her facial expression epitomizes relaxation. It’s instinctive to immediately think, “I want to feel like that, too. I want to go on vacation.” We want the feelings that are being emitted from the advert - serenity, peace, total mind and body relaxation.

Have you ever actually taken one of these trips only to feel as though something was missing?  Have you actually been surrounded by a gorgeous setting - a beautiful beach, a sunset, a luxurious hotel or a quaint bed and breakfast, only to feel as though you can’t quite grasp that total peace of mind you thought would automatically accompany this change of setting?

Although we are naturally affected by our physical surroundings, I think that it takes more than a change of scenery to achieve a sense of inner peace, even briefly.  It take practice, the practice of mindfulness. This is actually good news because it means we can grab that feeling displayed in the advert, hang on to it and revisit it multiple times a day.

Lately I’ve been in awe of the natural beauty outside my window. Thanks to plenty of rain, the trees outside my high-rise apartment window are in full-bloom. It’s quite magnificent. I open up my blinds, and I have a full view of green.  I’m only going to be living in this apartment for a couple more months, and I’m taking full advantage of the view now, while I can.  And I find, with some surprise, that it is exceptionally easy for me to enjoy it fully and meaningfully, in solitude.  I find myself, some evenings, just sitting in my chair, which is pointed at the balcony, watching the colours of the sky change. When I get home from work, the trees look yellow with the bright light that prefaces dusk. The sky is a bright cheerful blue. And then it changes, into white, then into a deep blue, then into an even deeper, cobalt blue. I see many gradations of colour until ultimately the sky becomes black and I can’t identify any more colours.

I’ve been paying attention to smells more as well. This weekend the weather was humid and in the mornings, I enjoyed the smell of the air just before it rained. You know, that luscious, scented air that, I think, gives way to positive memories. (At least it gives way to positive memories for me, of working on the farm, of summers long gone.)  This morning I took a breath and smelled at once that fresh, morning, pre-rain smell, which then tapered into the scent of freshly brewing coffee.  I caught both smells in an instant; it lasted less than a second, but it was wonderful.

At night, new sounds and smells. After chirping all day long, the sympohny of birds outside my window quiet down and their song is replace by… something. A humming noise.  It sounds like tree frogs, but that can’t be it.  And it’s much too early for crickets. So I’m not sure who is making the sound, but there is a peaceful little noise, probably made by some other insect. Just sitting and listening to it, and feeling the breeze flow in through my open window, is the perfect peaceful moment before bed.

Tonight, I finally ate a meal in silence. My mind was not completely quiet, but I was free of distractions such as television, books, or computers. Just me, and the meal I prepared for myself. For some reason, it felt less lonely to eat alone tonight. I looked outside my window while I ate, and then gazed at my little companion, Butternut, who slept in the easy chair beside the table, her pink nose looking especially cute and bright as it nestled up against her clean, white paws.

The past week I’ve realized that even within the context of my life today - which is very good, but far from “perfect” or easy - that these moments deliver that sense of ease, that sense of perfection, that the adverts proclaim to deliver in exchange for hundreds or thousands of dollars.

These moments are here for everyone to enjoy. I’m finally articulating what I really wanted this blog to be about all along. I want to participate fully in life, finding peace and true joy in life itself, not pursuing empty goals, meaningless distractions. We spend money on expensive trips and vacations, when so much can be found right here, right now, today, in this very moment.  I adore traveling and I love vacations as much as the next person, but we so often forget that what we are seeking is really available to us at anytime, anywhere. And it doesn’t cost a penny; it only costs our attention, our willingness to be attentive.  This requires some risk-taking and some discipline, but it is so very rewarding.

What’s next? I’d like to practice this more. Making time to enjoy the views, to pay attention to smells, to practice eating in silence and distraction-free.

Have you been enjoying any practices of mindfulness lately? Do you find it helps to satisfy your goals of frugal, simple abundance?

Let the garage sales begin!

Spring is here (although it is a little difficult to tell, because it appears to be snowing outside at the moment.) And with spring comes the most eco-and-budget-friendly form of shopping known to woman: garage sale-ing!  Here is my wish list for garage sale-ing, thrifting and antiquing this summer:

Kitchen Stuff

A good frying pan (however, my thrifted cast iron skillet is so well-seasoned that it’s basically like a teflon pan at this point, so it’s done quiet nicely.)

Glass mason jars (especially the real antique ones with glass lids)

A popcorn popper

Copper cookware

Stuff for around the house

Wicker baskets - big ones for laundry or blankets and smaller ones for tea towels, magazines, etc.

Good frames

Furniture:

Small outdoor table

Glass cabinet - something interesting and unique, to show off treasures

Card catalogue and/or apothecary chests and/or wooden filing cabinet(s)

Antique bookshelf

Vintage trunk to hold extra blankets or games

A miniature cabinet in which I could build a mini-wunderkammer

Cute lamps for the bedroom

Weird and decorative stuff

Vintage orinthology and botanical prints & illustrations - found either loose, in books, or already framed

Vintage test tubes, apothecary bottles

Vintage maps

Always on the look-out for:

Craft, card making and gift wrapping supplies

(I know, it’s kind of an odd mix, isn’t it? This summer I have fewer practical items on my list and more items that will help me decorate my apartment to suit my eclectic and vintage tastes.)

What I’ve already purchased

Just two weeks into garage sale season and I’ve already picked up a few items. For example, I got two wooden folding chairs, that are perfect for the balcony:

The chairs are in great shape, and I paid $2 each for them.

Today I picked up a number of items from a church basement garage sale.  The prices were by donation, but I try to give a fair price when it’s by donation. It is a fundraiser, after all. Today I found:

A tray-shaped wicker basket to hold linens or dishtowels

A large glass corona jar with a glass lid (these antiques ones are the best - environmentally sustainable, because even the lids are resuable and will last forever). Good for storing coffee beans or  homemade granola, which incidentally, I think would make a great Mother’s Day gift.

Iron rests (alternatives to hot pads) - one large one and two small ones. All antiques and all very cute.

A cute vintage recipe tin (will either use this myself or will fill it with recipe cards and give as a gift)

Vintage beer glass along with a package of bar coasters, which I think have a certain charm. I love that the print on the Molson glass is in perfect condition. I will have to decide whether these will go towards a gift for my Dad (he enjoys interesting and vintage beer glasses) or whether I’ll keep them for myself. Finding these treasures always carries this dilemma (it would make a great gift for someone, but, ummm…)

Vintage gift wrap (perfect for a man’s gift)

The other thing I bought last week was a brand-new Ikea wok, still in its plastic covering. Unfortunately, once I took it home I realized that it had somehow been exposed to grease (perhaps auto grease from a garage?) which had leaked into the gaps in the plastic. I could not get the grease off no matter how hard I tried.  Just when I thought it was clean I’d rub it with some paper towel and some oil, and black gunk would appear.  Needless to say, the wok was toast.  This is a good lesson, to carefully check out your purchases before you bring them home.  However, even with a few dud purchases, you’ll almost always finish ahead by shopping at garage sales and shopping thrift.

Here are a few of my favourite garage sale steals:

My best garage sale find yet

Summer thrift list

More garage sale goodies

What’s on your list this summer?

Finding serenity in the everyday

Last week, Gail Vaz-Oxlade wrote a blog post on serenity.  I love that Gail reflects on what’s important in life, and what brings us joy, in addition to financial matters.  I particularly valued this paragraph:

Serenity requires that you learn to be by yourself, quiet, alone. So many people fear the loneliness they may feel that they pack every minute of every day full of action. We often teach our children to fill every minute with movement. Getting stuff done has gained prominence over Just Being. And it’s too bad because in filling up our lives we are leaving no room for serenity.

I posted a comment, that I’ve decided to re-post here:

I love seeking out quiet moments whenever I can, and since I now live in a quiet town and live alone, I have an abundance of solitude. Serenity is very important to me, and I get to create an environment that promotes that.

Serenity can come in many forms, though. Usually we think we have to race through the days, weeks and months until we can finally go away on vacation, and we’ll enjoy rest and serenity then. But it doesn’t haven’t to be so.

Sometimes I find moments of bliss just standing in an elevator. Or walking in the door to my apartment. Or in any number of mundane activities where I wake up and realize that I am Alive, and I am Free, and that those are two very good reasons to rejoice.

Readers, have you found a way of discovering serenity, even within the context a busy life?  How do you seek it out?  Where do you find it?

Speaking of emergence…

And just to follow up with the previous post, I thought I’d share a Pema Chodron quote, which seems to speak to this idea:

At the beginning joy is just a feeling that our own situation is workable. We stop looking for a more suitable place to be. We’ve discovered that the continual search for something better does not work out.  This doesn’t mean that there are suddenly flowers growing where before there were only rocks. It means we have confidence that something will grow here.

I love this. Not only does it imply that there is beautiful potential waiting to reveal itself amidst difficult times, it also affirms that we don’t always need more, we don’t always need different, we don’t always need change, in order to find  exactly what we’re looking for, exactly what we need.  Sometimes we just have to live more deeply, right where we are in this exact moment, in this exact life.  Always so eager to change, looking outward, we seek to solve problems, find solutions, and soothe our discomforts.  What if we just simply payed more attention to exactly what we have, right here, right now?  Each breath, each touch, each smell and each sound? What if we focused on the people we already have in our life and found ways of listening more carefully, of loving more compassionately, of spending more time together, instead of looking for new relationships? What if we tended to our existing possessions instead of buying more, spent more time in our own communities instead of traveling?  There is so much potential in truly experiencing what life we have. How much do we notice, and how much do we forget?

Emergence

On the weekend I took a hike through the wooded area behind my parents’ home.  I took a few pictures, intending to write a post about how little we all need in order to feel really relaxed and happy.  But that’s not what this post is about.  Because when I looked at my photographs, although they weren’t particularly beautiful, they seemed to very clearly reveal a theme: emergence.  The tiny buds in these pictures are pushing up from underneath the piles of dead, grey leaves, and here they are; following a cold and inhospitable winter, they emerge with new life and potential.

It made me think of my own emergence.  It’s been about 9 months now since a big change in my life occurred, and although I’ve decided not to document the more personal aspects of this journey on the blog, suffice it to say that the change has indeed been challenging in many ways.  But I’ve been blessed with so much goodness, so many discoveries.  I’ve met so many fascinating people, who have deeply inspired me with their intelligence, curiosity, compassion, and zeal for life.  I’ve had the opportunity to explore and observe fascinating new sub-cultures, perpetually opening me up to explore new ways of thinking, of living.  I’ve found a new job that is really more than a job, I’ve found an opportunity to devote my life’s energy to a goal that I can finally say is consistent with and supportive of my values.  What’s more, the past 9 months have given me the opportunity to explore my freedom and independence, to re-acquaint myself with my forgotten strengths, to watch some of my old handicaps melt away.

My main life’s goal has always been to lead a compassionate life, and  I’ve always known that I have wanted to devote my life to helping others. Beyond that though, I think that my biggest goal is simply to live an interesting life.  To live with curiosity, with fascination, and with enough neutrality to observe the curious human position without too much judgement - to observe and engage, to experience, to live with awareness and to experience a range of human emotion and possibility.  And so, without having everything in my life “figured out,” without having everything settled, I can still be incredibly grateful for this fantastically interesting life.

I think my pictures posted here speak for themselves; where the ground is hard and grey, lies the potential for new transitions, new awakenings, new growth. And such is the cycle of this fascinating life.