2012: New resolutions, goals, and adventures

This year are you making resolutions or making change? In her New Year’s post, Gail Vaz-Oxlade wrote:

I don’t make resolutions. I find them distracting. Instead I make changes.

First I make a plan. I set downs the steps I’m going to take, put some timelines in place, and decide things will be different. I don’t resolve to make them different, I MAKE them different.

Gail has been a real inspiration to me in learning how to set and maintain goals - including budgets - properly. I think the problem most people have when it comes to making New Year’s resolutions is that we decide we are  just going to change, dammit. We drill down what we want to a matter of simple will-power. “I just need to stop eating junk food, or force myself to the gym, or just stop smoking, or stop spending…”  Truth is, the decisions we make are not just a matter of simple will-power or rational thinking. Habits are hard to break.

One of the reasons I like Gail’s approach in Till Debt and Princess is that it engages you in the reflective practice of asking, “What do you want?” but also turns it into something practical by breaking down the goal into small steps and also consider how other people can help you in achieving that goal.

As for me, I have several new year’s resolutions, but also several goals and some hopeful adventures:

Resolutions

• Get up earlier to enjoy my mornings more. Specifically, early enough that I can enjoy a cup of coffee and some breakfast while looking out the window. I’d like to start my day in a more peaceful frame of mind, rather than rushing out the door.
• Gossip less. I don’t feel good about myself when I do it, yet I do it. It’s hard not to get drawn into it, and it becomes a real habit.

Goals

• Begin learning Italian. I’d like to learn some conversational Italian and basic sentence structure and grammar.
• Increase the amount of exercise I’m getting - but I want to do it in a fun way. This may entail bouldering classes, dance lessons, or winter running/hiking.
• Investigate my credit rating and cancel any sources of credit that may be lingering on my account and not officially canceled.
• Find a way to back-up my blog so that I can upgrade Wordpress. Everytime I try to install a back-up plug-in I run into problems. I’ve literally been trying to solve this puzzle for years. It means I can’t get the latest version of Wordpress and I’m also at risk of losing everything I’ve ever written.

It goes without saying that I need to break these down into some smaller, more manageable steps, to figure out how to actually break the bad habits that get in the way of achieving these goals and resolutions. Several of these have been on my to-do list for quite some time. I need to employ Gail’s method of goal-setting to figure out what is needed to make things things happen.

Adventures

New adventures I’m hoping for in 2012? There are lots!

• Begin new program at work in April (contingent upon government funding; my contract expires March 31.)
• Move in to new place with my boyfriend
• Attend (and possibly speak at) the International AIDS Conference (AIDS 2012) in Washinton DC in July
• Visit Italy with my boyfriend and two other friends in spring or summer
• Continue Intermediate yoga classes in the spring

 You may recall the “fun goals” I wrote out in September ‘10. I never gave an update on that list, so now is a good time to do it!

What I did do

Visit Hawaii
Investigate at least 5 bands that are new to me and see them perform live. (Well, not quite 5, but close enough).
Explore a city that I’ve never been to before (Actually, I explored two new cities - NYC and Chicago).

What I didn’t do (but would still like to do)
Go dog sledding
Go rockclimbing outdoors
Go snow-shoeing
Create a scavenger hunt with friends
Build a miniature wunderkammer 
Go cross-country skiing
Submit at least one proposal/article to a yoga magazine

But, since I set these goals just with the intention of having more fun, being adventerous and enjoying my life, I was willing to be flexible with these goals. I ended up still having lots of fun and adventures of different kinds. Many of them just looked different than I’d imagined.

Have a wonderful, happy New Year!

Nine things I did right this Christmas

I hope that all my readers who celebrate Christmas enjoyed a wonderful holiday this year, and are looking forward to a Happy New Year ahead. This time of year is always so busy and stressful, and full of expectations, that sometimes it can overwhelm us, taking the fun out of the holiday and zapping us of any chance for relaxation. This year I actually found it fairly relaxed, and I attribute that to several things I did a bit differently.

1. I shopped all year ’round. Well, not exactly. I never went out hunting specifically for Christmas presents. But if I happened to stumble upon something that was “just right” for someone, I picked it up - and then held on to it. I’ve done this before, but always ended up giving the gifts early because I couldn’t wait. This year, for example, when I found swizzle sticks at an antique store during my travels out West that I thought would be perfect for my sister’s collection, I stashed them away in a box where I accumulated other gifts. When it came closer to Christmas time, I already had about a quarter of my shopping done.

Vintage barware

2. I gave thrifted & vintage gifts. I’ve never done this before, but always admired Shopping Golightly at the Thrifty Chicks for her ability to give thrifted gifts with such elegance. This year, I found a few really perfect items. One was a vintage wool and angora cardigan sweater that had both an interesting design and shape. When I tried it on, it fit perfectly, but I knew it would really suit my sister’s style spot on. I had the same impression when I stumbled on the ’50s barware that would go well with my sister’s vintage bar collection. I cleaned all the items and repackaged them, again following the advice at the Thrifty Chicks blog.

3. I started my Christmas crafting early. I started with a women’s group, and we made Christmas cards together. I realized that working in a group is a great idea - not only do you share supplies, you share ideas and inspiration. I made all my Christmas cards this year, and homemade gift tags, but because I did some of this work in a group, and started back in mid November, it was a manageable task.

Homemade gift tags

4. I went thrifting for craft supplies. Thrift stores are really a great source of discovery when it comes to both Christmas and crafts. You won’t find everything you need, but what you do find can be surprisingly perfect. I found an old Lewiscraft Christmas Cracker Kit, which I repurposed and used for gift tags.

5. I bundled my online gifts. I made a list of everyone I was ordering for online and what I wanted to buy - books, DVDs, etc. Then I ordered them all at once. This meant I could save on shipping costs, and spend less time shopping online. It was one order, one purchase, very easy.

7. I made one trip to the liquor store. I planned ahead to get everything I would need for Christmas and New Years, and bought some extra red wine just in case - again, avoiding long lines and crazy jams in the parking lot.

8. I didn’t go Boxing Day shopping. It’s weird, but I  actually feel guilty for not going boxing day shopping. I guess a part of me figures that it’s a great time to buy some good items at really low prices. But I can’t bring myself to do it. Using my week off as an opportunity to rest and relax trumps any financial savings from boxing day sales. I hate being in malls, I hate the pressure to spend, and I hate the craziness in the stores and parking lots this time of year. I’m certain that the benefit of staying home to truly relax is more beneficial to me than any bargains I could possibly pick up.

9. I didn’t worry (too much) when things weren’t perfect. My homemade gifts or cards don’t look anything like Martha Stewart, but Martha never comes to Christmas at our house, so who’s comparing? This year I tried to relax and tell myself that people appreciate the thought and effort that goes in to homemade items (and store-bought gifts, for that matter) and that no one expects things to be perfect. Our meals at Christmas weren’t flawless either, but it actually made for a nice realization: Christmas day can still be great without being perfect. This year our family seemed to roll with the punches despite a few flaws, and it felt really nice.

What’s the best thing you did this Christmas to make it a relaxing, less stressful holiday?

Frugality, simplified

I have recently been browsing through Amy Dacyczyn’s Complete Tightwad Gazette. (Remember how many Amy Dacyczyn fans I upset by questioning her “freezer bucket soup” method of using up leftovers?)

Reviewing so many tips for nitty-gritty frugality made me review my own core concepts of how to live frugally, and live well.  After blogging on frugal living for over three years, I’ve come to realize that what’s really important in frugality can be drilled down to a few basic practices. There are a few necessary components of living a simple yet abundant life, that don’t go anywhere near reusing dryer lint or making freezer bucket soup.

1. Take good care of what you have. Use, enjoy, and treat your possessions with respect. Over-spending can have the unintended effect of causing clutter and making us forget what we actually own. Not only can this lead to buying duplicate or unnecessary items, but what we own is forgotten and goes wasted. If you have fewer possessions but keep them in good shape and easily accessible (not stored in boxes or buried away in storage units) you will feel like you have plenty. The truth is, most of us have access to a lot of what gives us pleasure, whether we are rich or poor. Take full advantage of what possessions come into your life, use them, enjoy them, and take care of them. They will last longer and serve you well.

2. Develop the skill of learning to meal-plan and cook. One can learn to shop the sales, use coupons, and use a host of other tricks of the frugal trade, but my conclusion after trying to use those tactics is that if you consistently shop at a well-priced grocery store, plan meals around what you have in the fridge or what is fresh, and most importantly - cook yourself - you will save a lot of money. You don’t have to do this perfectly or drive to 5 stores to get the best price. Just eliminate some of the prepackaged food and impulse spending and get into the habit of planning and cooking your own meals. It’s really not that complicated. Cooking and meal planning are great skills to have.

3. Don’t be afraid of buying used. Clothes, cookware, books, hardware supplies, crafts, furniture and even gifts can be found in thrift stores. You will never find everything you’re looking for, but you’ll be surprised how much great stuff you can find when you make venturing into thrift, consignment, and re-stores a part of your shopping repertoire. It means you’ll be able to get a lot more than you might otherwise be able to afford, and you will find objects that have more interest, personality, and history than anything you will find at the mall.

4. Plan ahead. You aren’t going to be able to accomplish goal number 2 or goal number 3 without some planning. Anticipating your needs is a big part of financial stability and it’s also a big part of saving. If you have an idea of what you’ll need in the next few weeks or even months, you can start keeping an eye out at thrift stores or for sales in retail. Planning ahead is also a crucial part of meal planning. Even borrowing popular books or movies from the library takes planning. And saving in advance for purchases means you avoid putting the item on your credit card and paying interest. Most of us are so busy that we are driven by urgent needs, so learning to make planning a part of your routine requires a pretty big shift in habits and lifestyle. But it’s worth it.

5. Utilize the opportunities in your own community. I’ve blogged about this many times and it was also a frequent point of interest in my columns when I wrote for the Beach Metro News.  Chances are, there are unlimited amount of opportunities to take advantage of free or affordable activities in your own community.  Take advantage of your local recreation centres, parks & trails, public library (and not just for books, but workshops for kids, book clubs, movie nights, dvds and music), free festivals, art tours, guided city tours or hikes, public scientific or education lectures, the list is endless. There are so many ways to have fun, be a part of your community, and experience art, culture, science or fitness.

6. Be happy with what you have. And my readers by now know that I don’t mean, “just suck it up and force yourself to be happy” but really - find a way to be happy. Practice gratitude. Infuse your life with goodness in non-material ways. Take pleasure in small moments and be mindful of the world around you. Spend at least some of your time helping other people and doing things that matter to you and feel meaningful to you, whatever that may be. Collect things that make you feel good. Prioritize the hobbies, people, and activities that are the most important to you. Take time to recognize what it means to you to be content and happy and then pursue that. Very often it has absolutely nothing to do with designer furniture or clothes and more to do with cultivating important relationships and rewarding activities. The more you cultivate these passions the less need you will have of other “stuff.” And the more gratitude you practice for what you have, the more mindful you become of the beauty in the world around you, the more inner joy you will create.

That’s really it! Six simple but imperative steps in living a frugal life that is also joyful and fulfilling.

Life lessons from insects in Autumn

The arboretum in Guelph, is, unsurprisingly, absolutely stunning this time of year. It’s full of life - dragonflies, praying mantis, finches, butterflies, and various insects. But even though it’s really teeming full of little insect communities, it’s easy to miss just how alive the bushes and grasses are.  During a walk a couple of weeks ago, I paused to take notice of this dragonfly, above, and my boyfriend snapped a picture of it. He posted it on Facebook, and received a number of questions about the type of camera he used. I found it interesting that people grew excited about the equipment that was used, but no one commented on the subject matter. This dragonfly blended in so well with the grasses. Its brown and green body are perfect colours for this time of year. Even its copper, rust-coloured, shimmery wings camouflage nicely with the long, crunchy blades of grass. This dragonfly easily could have been missed, and the picture never would have been taken. This picture reminds me that the most important tool is not the camera; the most important tools are our eyes, and our ability to pay attention.

This dragonfly, which makes such a beautiful photograph, would be easy to miss - but look out stunning! Look at the complexity of the wings, the incredible shape of its body built for dynamic flight.

On another recent visit I said hello to this praying mantis.

It seems to have an expression! He seems to have… a personality! Funny, isn’t it?

And this butterfly: Look at how paper-thin these wings are. They look so delicate; it’s amazing what they can do.

Perhaps it is a good lesson, not only in photography, but in regards to many of the other activities we do, and goals we set. To do anything great, even to live well, first we need to notice what is there. With practice, giving attention and noticing what is present, we see what is beautiful, what has grace. This practice becomes second nature, and we can begin to engage with the world at a deeper level.

And what is also brilliant is that these opportunities to practice exist everywhere; with a camera, or without. In a simple garden or lawn. If we can learn from insects, surely the lessons must be truly abundant.

By request… my chili recipe!

Recently my colleagues and I attended a workshop where a portion of the afternoon was dedicated to encouraging staff to set goals for ourselves that would lead to increased self-care and healthier behaviours. One of the goals I set for myself was to eat 6 homemade dinners a week. The rest of the participants balked at this idea. Is cooking 6 nights a week really that much? I was surprised other people found it so extreme.  Then again, maybe it will be quite a challenge.

Notice I challenged myself to cook  ”homemade dinners,” not  simply have “meals at home,” because I don’t think that frozen chicken fingers, french fries, or frozen pizza should count. So, I figure that “free” night could either include eating out, or eating pre-packaged meals at home.

The last week and half I have been working on this goal and actually failed on my first week. One night in a hurry I ate a frozen pizza (although to be fair, it was on the lighter side, being a thin crust vegetarian pizza) and had dinner in a restaurant with my Dad another night).

On the other hand, I’ve created some very delicious, healthy meals and have been bringing my lunch to work every day.  My colleagues end up drooling over my lunches and have been pestering me for recipes, so here is one to start with:

SaverQueen’s Chili

1 package lean ground turkey or beef

1 can black beans (about half of them drained/rinsed to reduce sodium)

1 can white beans (about half of them drained/rinsed to reduce sodium)

1 large can crushed tomatoes

1 clove garlic, minced

1 onion, chopped

1 bell pepper, chopped

1 avocado, chopped

1-2 scallions, chopped

1/2 cup cheddar cheese, shredded

olive oil (a couple tablespoons)

sour cream

spices/flavourings:

I don’t measure these, so be careful, add slowly, and adjust to taste:

kosher salt

cumin (approximately 1 tsp)

cayenne pepper

black pepper

siracha (a few squeezes)

hot sauce (a few drops)

tabasco (just a couple drops)

Directions:

Brown the meat, adding salt, cumin, cayenne and black pepper, and garlic. Drain when done.

In the meantime, in a large pot, soften onions on low heat with olive oil. Then add the pepper, then the meat, and stir together. Add beans and then tomatoes. Fill approximately half of the can with water and add to the pot. You might want to add a little extra, because the chili will reduce as it cooks.

Add spices, to your taste. I highly recommend including siracha, and the combination of siracha with hot sauce and a little tabasco is great, along with the cayenne. (I have also added hot smoked paprika, which is also nice. ) This combination of spices gives heat, but also sweetness. I think it’s what makes my chili a little bit different.

Turn up the heat, and once you get a good simmer going, turn it down to about medium-low. Let it simmer gently for about an hour, with the lid off.

Check it periodically to make sure it’s not boiling too rapidly, and to stir, and taste. Adjust seasoning if necessary.

Finally, when serving, add chopped avocado, a little shredded cheese, some scallions and a little dollop of sour cream. This final serving presentation makes all the difference!

Freeze a couple servings so that you have a quick dinner/lunch on a busy night.

Another variation, to mix things up, is to serve this chili in taco shells, with the same toppings.

Product review: Novica

As my readers know, I almost never do product reviews, but when Novica asked me to do a review of their products in exchange for a gift certificate, I couldn’t refuse. It’s a company I can support - a fair-trade system with really beautiful products.

They describe themselves this way:

NOVICA is one of the leading fair trade artisan websites. We work with National Geographic to give talented artisans around the world a place to express their artistic talents and provide access to the world market. We have thousands of top fair trade corporate gifts, accessories, jewelry and home decor items on our website.

I had never heard of them before, but I’m really glad they connected with me, because the products on their website are really beautiful. I love things that are handmade and unique, and if I can support an artisan rather than a big box store through my choice of purchase, I’m all for it.

It took me a while to choose my items because there are so many beautiful things to choose from! It was really fun browsing.

I chose two items. Both were from the Andes. I realized at the end of my shopping experience that you save on shipping if you buy from the same region - a little tip to keep in mind.

The first item I chose with this gorgeous throw - 70% wool and 30% acrylic. I think it’s really pretty.

Secondly, I chose this wool bag. It’s so unique and I love the flower detail. It was called, “dessert rose.”

The stuff arrived in the mail fast! And it was also beautifully wrapped in decorative paper and with two tiny wool toy goats attached, and a little postcard, written in Spanish. Nice touch, and I will keep those items and use them in future gift-wrapping myself.

Among other great stuff they have is scarves. I adore scarves; I have a love for scarves like most women have a love for shoes. They have some nice women’s scarves as well as men’s scarves (I personally love it when men wear scarves, especially as an accessory.)

Other accessories can be found here:

Also, if anyone is interested in generating a small side-business or is looking for a little extra income, they have a home-party division:

One last suggestion: remember that you have to pay shipping and duty, so consider it when you calculate how much you can spend.

I hope that the review helps as ideas for Christmas shopping approach… I know some of my readers are so organized as to already be thinking ahead! (Unbelievably, this year, I am too.)

Early taste experiences in summer

My father is in no way a foodie and even less of a cook. So it could perhaps be considered ironic that some of my most profound taste experiences have come from my dad’s influences. His favourite food pairings set the stage for the food I like to eat today.  Most of these noteworthy pairings developed in the summer time.  A few of them come from summers spent at a cottage on Lake Huron when I was growing up.  We would pick fresh fruit and other produce from a nearby farmer’s orchard and there would a few distinct food pairings would always make their way to the dinner table. Two examples include:

Raspberries and vanilla ice cream

No more, no less. My dad would go out of his way to get ice cream, dropping by the corner store if there wasn’t any in the freezer. There had to be ice cream, and it had to be vanilla. Raspberries shipped all the way from California? Forget it. I don’t even think this option existed when I was young. It was just fresh, tart, sweet, plump local raspberries picked within hours of being eaten.

Tomato feta salad

This little combo would appear throughout the season, and was always paired with tomatoes fresh from the vine  - either from the farm stand or from Dad’s own little vegetable garden. The recipe for this salad was as follows: slice tomatoes; arrange on a plate. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Drizzle with olive oil. Crumble feta on top.  Chop fresh chives and sprinkle on top.

Then when I came home from university one summer, I walked out on the back deck, where my Dad was enjoying a glass of wine and a snack. He poured me a glass of crisp white wine, put a little blue cheese on a thin cracker and handed it to me - “try this,” he said. It was the beginning of a love affair with cheese and wine. I think that was my first moment of really understanding why food and wine pairings existed, and it was a moment of growth - moving past sweet cocktails and chocolate martinis to actually enjoy complexity of flavour.

With summer here, I’ve been making attempts to try to slow down a bit to revisit some of these early taste experiences and remember how good these simple pairings can be.

{In this picture you can see Butternut’s nose on the far right hand corner. I put the bowl down on the chair to snap a picture and it immediately drew the kitten’s attention!}

What are your early taste experiences from summer, and have you been enjoying them lately?

Favourite photos of spring & early summer

I wanted to share a few of my favourite photos taken in the past month or so. This time of year is amazing.  Flowers and trees bloom and then change so quickly. If you don’t stop to notice them right then and there, they’ll be gone the next time you look.

Evening on the beach

Cherry blossoms (taken on the iphone)

Lilacs

Tulip trees (I never knew these existed until I stumbled upon one in the arboretum!)

Roses

What are you taking notice of today?

Quick update on my life

This is the longest I’ve gone without blogging. And as much as I don’t want to start each new post with, “sorry I haven’t blogged in a long time, but…” I do feel like I owe my readers some explanation. I’ve found myself really busy lately, lacking not only the time for blogging, but also the time for the actual activities that I like to blog about (cooking, thrifting, crafting, and even mindfulness practice/reflection.) There are a few reasons for this. One is that work has been busy lately, and I have had to work late at night at least one day a week - sometimes two. I have also started running a part-time consulting business. For the last year or more I have had at least one little side-project running, but lately it’s kind of blossomed. This has happened organically, as I have had numerous requests from friends and former colleagues, which has culminated in having as many as four clients as once.  I also spend one night a week doing yoga, and the better part of my Sundays or Saturdays climbing. And then there is that little secret I’ve been keeping from my readers… that I have a boyfriend, who I’ve been seeing for the last 7 months. He is busy too, lives in a different city than I, and so we like to spend a good part of our weekends together, since most weeknights we don’t get a chance.

I’ve had this weekend free though (the boyfriend is in Europe) and I’ve been making time to do some of the things that I quietly enjoy, including blogging. So if you don’t subscribe to the blog, please check back regularly as I have more posts scheduled. Thanks for continuing to read!

A busy bee

The pursuit of happiness

Many, if not all of us, pursue happiness. But how is happiness discovered? One line of thought is that happiness is created; you go out and actively create the life of your dreams, at which you will be met with happiness as your reward. An other, perhaps less popular, belief is that we need to learn to be content and satisfied with what we have, at which point happiness will find us. Over the past one or two years, however, I have been exploring the possibility that perhaps joy already exists within our world, and is just waiting to be unveiled. Perhaps happiness is really about attention to what surrounds us.  I wonder, if we surround ourselves with things we love and feel passionate about, will we necessarily be happy? We will necessarily feel fulfilled? We can provide ourselves with an abundance of opportunities, people, and gifts, but what if we achieve everything we want and still are left feeling empty?

I think that many opportunities to feel joy are missed in life. What happens if you lie next to your partner on a rainy day and ignore the shape of their body, the sound of their breath or the pattern of the rain falling on the window? What happens if you prepare delicious meals for yourself but ignore their taste and drown the sensation in the noise of the television or the chatter in the mind? What happens if you rush into your car and into work each morning without pausing to smell the air and notice that the clouds have parted just so to let in a rare ray of sunshine in an otherwise grey day? Gifts are given to us on a daily basis, as are opportunities to delight in sound, sight and sensation, and too often, we miss it because we haven’t the patience or discipline to pay attention.

In a yoga retreat, a fellow participant said something during a dharma talk about contentment that always stuck with me. She said that it’s partly about “knowing when you’re content.” We need adequate time and space - thoughtful space - to reflect and say, “this is a great moment.” Without that freedom of headspace to acknowledge beauty when it makes it appearance, or to celebrate joy when it comes fleeting into our hearts, we might never find happiness.

As I pack my life with greater and greater goals, I want to leave enough space to re-unite with these gifts. To permit enough time in my day to pause and look out the window, or to silence myself long enough to notice the beautiful simplicity in the hum of the washing machine, a beautiful quilt on the bed, a kitten bunking down upon said quilt to prepare herself for an evening snooze.

I’ve often blogged about simple pleasures and readers have often chimed in, freely celebrating the humble but satisfactory joys in their life. But I think it goes beyond the ability to enjoy frugal luxuries. It’s about actually deepening an awareness and appreciation for what life already is. It’s about giving yourself the freedom to acknowledge that you might already be happy.