In building a foundation, patience is a virtue

Today I had my very first class as part of an intermediate yoga program I am beginning this fall. I have started my intermediate program after doing beginner yoga for the last 2.5 years. One of the interesting things about yoga is that it is a practice which cannot be rushed. There are no shortcuts, no ways to cheat, no corners to cut. It’s all about focus, and patience.

Take this simple leg reach from table position:

Simple enough, right? But there are many things you must pay attention to. Is your pelvis straight and aligned with your body? Is your leg parallel to the wall? How is your foot pointed? Is your hip sticking out? Is your lower spine curved? Your upper spine? Is your breastbone sticking out out? What’s your abdomen doing? Which direction are you looking at? What is your neck doing? Are you tensing your shoulders or jaw? Is your weight equally distributed? Oh, and are you breathing?

It requires attention throughout the body and to do that requires concentration, and, as I mentioned, patience. It’s one of the reasons, I believe, many people avoid yoga. Because concentration on things as minute as the breath seem too simple; it’s frightening in its simplicity. We like to rush ahead, to achieve, to succeed, to accomplish, to get er done. But taking the time to focus on all of these components of the body gives way to a strong pose. And the process of awareness gives way to an everyday practice of mindfulness, within the self, and within the world.

I’ve re-watched some episodes of Till Debt Do Us Part lately (so what else is new) and was struck by the urgency with which the young couples in the show raced ahead to collect all the trimmings of adult life. Great car. Perfect house. Marriage. Baby, another baby, and then the next big step: home renovations. It seems like lightening speed to me, and yet, looking around at what many of my peers have – homes, marriages, kids – I seem to be the one falling behind.

Sometimes property ownership seems like a necessary rite of passage for being a grown-up, but at 30 years old, I am nowhere near that goal. I go back in forth in my mind as to how I could manage to afford to buy a place but no matter what scenario I concoct, it wouldn’t work. It would, for example, mean becoming house poor, spending so much of my income on housing that I would have very little left over to use for travel or new clothes or concerts, or just about anything fun. I would wipe out all of my savings (every last penny), be in debt up to my eyeballs, and would sacrifice all this just to get into a tiny condo in an okay-but-not-great part of town with electric heating and linoleum flooring. No, in order to buy a home  - any kind of home – in this market, I would need either a partner, or a much better paying job.  Since I have little control over the former and I refuse to leave a job I love for the sake of home ownership (at least for now,) I have to exercise – there’s that word again – patience.

I have to take some pride in what I’ve accomplished for myself in the last couple of years and also take pleasure in what I have in my life today that is really great. I don’t want to charge ahead so fast that I kick out this solid foundation I’ve built for myself for the sake of getting somewhere sooner. I will have my dream of home ownership realized someday, and in the meantime, I have a pretty nice life to enjoy.

Runners know this: If you push too hard, too fast, if you don’t take breaks, you get injured and you sit out for months and get behind. And rock-climbers know this too; being a good climber means knowing that perfect place between effort and relaxation, between reaching beyond your grasp but within your limits. A couple I know always push themselves too hard, too fast on the wall. They spend, literally, hours on routes that are completely beyond their ability. They forget about style, and grace, and balance, and become so eager to scale something with a big number, that they get stuck, risk injury, and waste their time.

Pushing too hard too fast doesn’t yield results. Building a foundation – focusing on the breathe, learning to run, taking breaks, gradually finding climbs to suit your ability and push yourself ever so slightly; this is what yields results. It’s a great lesson for life – for relationships, for health, for financial stability, and for just about any goal you have your heart set on.

Slow and steady might not win the race every time, but it will get you there when you’re good and ready. Like going back to the breath, when we find ourselves in situations hoping and wishing for more, to get somewhere faster, to have it all, we have to go back to where we are, now, and just have patience.