The recycled, homemade canvas

Nearly two years ago, I wrote a blog post about making recycled canvases out of miscellaneous parts found at Habitat for Humanity Restores. In February 2009, I bought a door for a couple of dollars at the Restore, unhinged it, sanded it, gessoed it, and basically turned it into a canvas. I covered it with multiple layers of paint and textiles like netting from oranges, avocados and onions.  Since that time I’ve had the occasional reader ask me what the final product turned out to be, and I never followed up with the readers who left comments hoping to see the finished product.

So finally, I have the “after” picture to share.

First, the before: (I love seeing Butternut’s ears in the bottom of the shot; she’s always with me, no matter what I’m doing!)

And the after:

It’s being used as a headboard by the owners, just as I had intended!

Currently I’m working on a new piece. I’ve purchased a cabinet door from the Restore, have prepped it, and am layering it with paint, tissue paper and graph paper.  I’ll try to be more prompt to share some before/after shots of this piece.

I love the spirit of DIY, I love searching for junk and I love using my imagination to turn something ugly or painfully ordinary into something fresh, new, and interesting.

Lean in, with eagerness. (Honouring Martin Luther King Jr.)

When I look back on my life and the people who have inspired me, Martin Luther King Jr. stands out as one of my biggest inspirations and greatest hero. I like to take time out on every Martin Luther King day to reflect on his many teachings.  Dr. King can be admired for many reasons; best known as a tremendous leader in the civil rights movement, and an incredibly eloquent orator, King was also a great teacher of non-violence, for he was determined that civil rights must be won through audacious hope, dogged determination, unfailing persistence and always, peaceful protest.  Inspired by Mahatma Ghandi, the principles of nonviolence were fundamental to the movement, and still today lend important lessons to grassroots organizers everywhere.

One of Dr. King’s greatest teachings was that “a threat to justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”  - that injustice does not only have only one victim but indirectly impacts entire societies, entire nations, even the planet itself; injustice of any kind justifies violence of all types.

A friend of mine shared this Dr. King quote with me today:

All I’m saying is simply this, that all life is interrelated, that
somehow we’re caught in an inescapable network of mutuality tied in a
single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all
indirectly. For some strange reason, I can never be what I ought to be
until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to
be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure
of reality.

I read in the paper today that a Scarborough woman died in the snow last night. It was one of the coldest days of the year.  She was a 66 year old woman who had dementia. She wandered outside, not dressed for the cold, died of hypothermia in a snowbank in her residential neighbourhood.  Neighbours heard her cry for help but didn’t call 911. They rationalized their behaviour by explaining that they lived in a dangerous neighbourhood and didn’t want to get involved in anyone else’s affairs.  Upon reading this I recalled my Sociology 101 textbook, with stories about Kitty Genovese and explanations for such peculiar behaviour - the bystander effect and the diffusion of responsibility.  There are explanations for this kind of absurd-sounding behaviour, but how tragic it is that sometimes even caring and compassionate human beings can let fears or insecurities get in the way of helping another person.

Martin Luther King’s quote, above, reminds us that we are all connected. When we draw away from, instead of towards, the pain of another human being, we alienate ourselves from our own innate humanness, from a profound connection with ourselves and others.  In When Things Fall Apart and The Places that Scare You, Pema Chodren explores why we attempt to cover up our feelings with distractions, drugs or noise of any kind. Feeling another human being’s pain can be frightening, and it may frighten us for different reasons. It may remind us with our own pain, feelings of worthlessness, or other feelings we try to bury. But getting in touch with our own pain, opening up to another’s pain, and opening to that compassion that is at the root of our humanness, connects us with the very essence of who we are.

I recently completed suicide intervention training, and one of our instructors taught us to lean in, eagerly to help the suicidal person. Many people are afraid to ask someone if he or she is suicidal, for fear of what the answer will be.  We might be afraid that we cannot help, that we will say or do the wrong thing,or  that we will make things even worse, so we stay quiet and don’t ask, missing out on an opportunity to help someone and perhaps even save a life. One of the take-home messages of the training was, you don’t have to do it perfectly. Just ask. And then listen.

And so, my final thoughts for Martin Luther King Jr. day is that we cannot forsake our humanness, out of fear. We must lean in, with eagerness, with compassion, to help others, to fight for human rights.  Whether we feel we are protected, safe, privileged, loved, rich, whether we have all of our rights and needs met or whether we have none of these things, we must continually look towards the presence of fear or judgement to share our compassion with the world.

A human being is a part of the whole called by us “the universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

- Albert Einstein

A year in pictures

Just for fun, here is a sampling of my favourite photos taken in 2010.

succulents, southampton

a sleep on the beach

little treasures

beach on a windy day (colleen)

fall colours

springbank park, london

amphitheatre garden

birch tree in the winter sun

dusting of snow

window on a sunny morning

fear of trains

peeling paint

I was going to supply some discussion of what these pictures are all about or why I like them, but I think I will leave them be, so you can use your own imagination. Overall, I think they represent my personal exploration, an attempt to see the world from different angles and appreciate the small details, which is kind of my approach to life.

2010 wrap up

I hope that everyone had a really fun, happy and safe new year’s eve.  I went back to work today and was obviously not quite “with it”; I woke up at 20 past nine and rolled in nearly an hour late for work!  I’ve spent the last couple of days enjoying the final moments of my holidays, reading, drinking leisurely cups of coffee, listening to music, planning art projects and slowly tidying up the apartment. It’s left me in a somewhat pensive state.  My true wish for the new year is to continue living my life the way I want it to be lived, with passion, sincerity, gentleness and gratitude.  I want to continue making my own happiness, joy and adventure key aspects of my life since they have been off my agenda for too long.  I want to nurture relationships, pursue beauty, make my own art, expand my own scientific inquiry, become stronger and look after my overall wellness.  My father called me last night and congratulated me on thinking for myself and living my own life. During the times when I have doubted myself and compared my decisions to those of others, truly, living my own life has been the greatest gift in an uncertain period.  And so, amidst the annual consumeristic blitz of the holidays and then boxing day bedlam, I hope you each spend a few minutes reflecting on what is truly important in your lives and not dwelling on what you think you should have, don’t have, can’t afford.

As a side note, a small rant, the entire boxing day shopping scene is so appalling. Not to say that I haven’t engaged in it before, but after the holidays, more shopping is really the last thing I want to do.  I see people going in and out of my apartment building carrying massive TV boxes and all kinds of crap and I can’t help but wonder, is increasing your size of your television really going to improve your life? On boxing day, I took a long walk with my dad in an empty forest, and have been avoiding going anywhere near the malls.  Not surprisingly, it’s actually the practical, frugal person in me that tells me I should go shopping (the little voice goes, “it’s a good time to get cheap deals on clothing for next fall and winter”) but I simply don’t want to venture into that mess, and my desire for simplicity and for more time with friends or with good books, wins over the more practical voice.

Instead, I’ve been reflecting more and more of what I would like to see happen in this year and also taking time to appreciate everything grand that happened last year, especially since my attitude was so blase.

A few favourite highlights from last year include:

- My job  (many highlights, including speaking at two different conferences, developing my first social marketing campaign, receiving some great feedback from service users, and best of all feeling a deep connection and passion for the cause, the theory behind the work, the people involved, the mission behind the work we do, and feeling at home in my career and excited about the future.)

- Holding my friends’ new born baby, cherishing the way he looked at me with brand new eyes

- Going tubing at the winter tube park with my sister

- Starting rock climbing for the first time

- Winning two flights to Hawaii (and many other prizes!)

- Going on a day-long hike on the Bruce Peninsula on a rainy day with my dad for his birthday

- Moving… to my *own* place, that is comfortable, financially affordable and just mine

- Attending Stephen Hawking’s good bye party at Perimeter Institute

- Attending the potluck in High Park park with Gail Vaz-Oxlade, which I organized for the second year in a row

- Discovering the arboretum. This discovery resulted in many special visits, the best being one in which I sat for about an hour and watched goldfinches and two different species of hummingbirds feed at the flowers, a mere few feet away from me. It was surreal.

- Taking a long canoe ride around Guelph Lake with a friend I hadn’t seen in about 3 years

- Gliding down waterslides with two wonderful friends at a giant waterpark for my birthday

- Enjoying a very special visit with my sister during the summer

- Laughing nonstop during a three day weekend in Southampton with my sister and my two best friends from highschool

- Making some amazing friends (too varied to mention here, but no doubt they have contributed to the highlights – see “a message of thanks“!)

- Finally coming to terms with the past, and feeling the ability to move forward into a bright new future.