• Finding peace at home

    Posted on May 2nd, 2010 Saver Queen 12 comments

    Have you ever been tempted by a gorgeous photo of a dream vacation spot? The pictures usually include a woman with a gorgeous body, lying in a hammock over turquoise waters with a drink by her side. Her facial expression epitomizes relaxation. It’s instinctive to immediately think, “I want to feel like that, too. I want to go on vacation.” We want the feelings that are being emitted from the advert – serenity, peace, total mind and body relaxation.

    Have you ever actually taken one of these trips only to feel as though something was missing?  Have you actually been surrounded by a gorgeous setting – a beautiful beach, a sunset, a luxurious hotel or a quaint bed and breakfast, only to feel as though you can’t quite grasp that total peace of mind you thought would automatically accompany this change of setting?

    Although we are naturally affected by our physical surroundings, I think that it takes more than a change of scenery to achieve a sense of inner peace, even briefly.  It take practice, the practice of mindfulness. This is actually good news because it means we can grab that feeling displayed in the advert, hang on to it and revisit it multiple times a day.

    Lately I’ve been in awe of the natural beauty outside my window. Thanks to plenty of rain, the trees outside my high-rise apartment window are in full-bloom. It’s quite magnificent. I open up my blinds, and I have a full view of green.  I’m only going to be living in this apartment for a couple more months, and I’m taking full advantage of the view now, while I can.  And I find, with some surprise, that it is exceptionally easy for me to enjoy it fully and meaningfully, in solitude.  I find myself, some evenings, just sitting in my chair, which is pointed at the balcony, watching the colours of the sky change. When I get home from work, the trees look yellow with the bright light that prefaces dusk. The sky is a bright cheerful blue. And then it changes, into white, then into a deep blue, then into an even deeper, cobalt blue. I see many gradations of colour until ultimately the sky becomes black and I can’t identify any more colours.

    I’ve been paying attention to smells more as well. This weekend the weather was humid and in the mornings, I enjoyed the smell of the air just before it rained. You know, that luscious, scented air that, I think, gives way to positive memories. (At least it gives way to positive memories for me, of working on the farm, of summers long gone.)  This morning I took a breath and smelled at once that fresh, morning, pre-rain smell, which then tapered into the scent of freshly brewing coffee.  I caught both smells in an instant; it lasted less than a second, but it was wonderful.

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    At night, new sounds and smells. After chirping all day long, the sympohny of birds outside my window quiet down and their song is replace by… something. A humming noise.  It sounds like tree frogs, but that can’t be it.  And it’s much too early for crickets. So I’m not sure who is making the sound, but there is a peaceful little noise, probably made by some other insect. Just sitting and listening to it, and feeling the breeze flow in through my open window, is the perfect peaceful moment before bed.

    Tonight, I finally ate a meal in silence. My mind was not completely quiet, but I was free of distractions such as television, books, or computers. Just me, and the meal I prepared for myself. For some reason, it felt less lonely to eat alone tonight. I looked outside my window while I ate, and then gazed at my little companion, Butternut, who slept in the easy chair beside the table, her pink nose looking especially cute and bright as it nestled up against her clean, white paws.

    The past week I’ve realized that even within the context of my life today – which is very good, but far from “perfect” or easy – that these moments deliver that sense of ease, that sense of perfection, that the adverts proclaim to deliver in exchange for hundreds or thousands of dollars.

    These moments are here for everyone to enjoy. I’m finally articulating what I really wanted this blog to be about all along. I want to participate fully in life, finding peace and true joy in life itself, not pursuing empty goals, meaningless distractions. We spend money on expensive trips and vacations, when so much can be found right here, right now, today, in this very moment.  I adore traveling and I love vacations as much as the next person, but we so often forget that what we are seeking is really available to us at anytime, anywhere. And it doesn’t cost a penny; it only costs our attention, our willingness to be attentive.  This requires some risk-taking and some discipline, but it is so very rewarding.

    What’s next? I’d like to practice this more. Making time to enjoy the views, to pay attention to smells, to practice eating in silence and distraction-free.

    Have you been enjoying any practices of mindfulness lately? Do you find it helps to satisfy your goals of frugal, simple abundance?

    MIndfulness, Philosophy
     

    12 responses to “Finding peace at home”

    1. it's me, Sam May 2nd, 2010 at 20:29

      Today, DD and I took an impromptu trip to one of our favorite beaches, which is 45 minute drive. It was a great chance to talk, we walked on the beach, picked up some drift wood, and drove back home. It’s the smell of the salt water and the coolness of the sand that we both love.

      When we got home, DD stopped at the door, and said” Mom, it smells like summer”. ( the smell of the first drops of rain hitting the dry earth).

      The sound that you hear at night, it sounds like peepers, I can here them right now, that’s how I really know spring is here!

      Thanks for reminding me of the little things!

    2. Amber May 2nd, 2010 at 23:31

      Gardening is one of my best mindfulness practices, especially at this time of year. There’s something about digging in the dirt and watching plants grow that helps me to calm and still my mind, and focus on the moment.

    3. Gail May 3rd, 2010 at 07:15

      I’ve started painting again. I love the smell of oils. But life has been so tumultuous of late that I haven’t had the time to just be. April gave that back to me.

      I’m also enjoying the green. Y’know SQ, it’s too bad we’re so far apart because I’m sure we’d have a lovely time just sitting, sipping tea and watching the sky together. Alex is off to MacMaster in September, so maybe on the way back I can stop in Guelph and we can have lunch together. Of course, I’ll see you at the picnic too.

      Which reminds me… I’m going to post that this month. I didn’t want to do it too early. Thanks again for making the plans. You’re the BEST.

    4. Saver Queen May 3rd, 2010 at 22:37

      Sam, what a lovely comment. I love your description of the raindrops hitting the earth. Indeed, the smell of summer.

      Amber, no doubt that being in the earth and focusing on your gardening can help focus and calm the mind. Makes me wish I had a garden! :)

      Gail, thank you for your lovely comment. Please do stop by Guelph if you ever get the opportunity. You will always be more than welcome here. It would be great to share a relaxing pot of tea with you, and just watch the sky. Sorry to hear that you’ve had a tumultuous time lately, but that’s life, isn’t it; sometimes we are able to focus and be calm and be still, and other times simply too many things require our attention all at once. I’ve come to believe that expecting life to be in balance all the time is unreasonable; rather, if we go in and out of these states, experiencing periods of mindfulness when we can, it will ultimately balance out to a full, complete, life.
      My pleasure to make the plans for the picnic – can’t wait! let me know when you post it and I’ll write up the details, and I’ll post something on this blog too.
      PS congrats to Alex for getting into MacMaster. What an amazing achievement. It will be a big change for you, too, to see your daughter go out into the world on her own. All the best of luck to you both.

    5. Michelle May 4th, 2010 at 15:21

      This year has been the year of finding peace within, instead of looking with-out to find it. I find more and more souls who’ve found it as well, so I’m thinking this year has been a year of great yet quiet change for many.
      And it came at a great time for me too…had a little medical scare that today I was told ‘secretly’ by the mammogram tech that is all good, so I can get back to the peace I had found and nurture it some more. Although, I’m sure had I not stumbled upon my newfound bit of peace already, the past week’s stress would’ve been unmanageable had I not had it to fall back on. As it was, I accepted whatever the outcome would be and that God has given me what he thinks I can handle, so I would/will handle it.

    6. it's me, Sam May 4th, 2010 at 19:37

      SQ, I’m suffering from Gail envy right now! Another picnic this summer… I just may have to drive to Ontario for it!

    7. Saver Queen May 4th, 2010 at 19:40

      LOL “Gail envy”. Too funny. Where do you live, Sam?
      And btw, what are peepers?

      Michelle – glad your health scare turned out to be okay!

    8. it's me, Sam May 5th, 2010 at 05:59

      Peepers are small chorus frogs that love marshy and woodlands areas. That’s how I know spring is here, when you hear them for the first time. I live in on the East Coast ( NB).

    9. joanne May 5th, 2010 at 11:23

      I am so glad I opened up this comment section. Another picnic! Fabulous! I so wanted to go to the one last year and had hoped that you would agree to arrange another one and convince Gail to come :)

      I hope it is on a date I can come.
      I am so looking forward to finding out more info.

      Joanne
      Cambridge, ON

    10. Nancy May 5th, 2010 at 18:18

      Love this post, thank you SQ! You offer so much through your beautiful blog.
      Mindfulness for me is ever changing, Sometimes I am so present as I go through my day, and other times my “monkey mind” is full of distractions. But there are some practices that help. Starting the day in silence with nature, sitting on my meditation cushion for a few moments, going for an early morning walk, setting an intention and writing about all the things I’m grateful for, all set the tone of the day. When I do any one of those things, it makes a difference, even if it’s just for a few minutes…. :o )

    11. Saver Queen May 5th, 2010 at 19:24

      These comments are absolutely beautiful!!! I love it.

      Joanne, yes, I will announce on my blog soon the details for the picnic! Check back soon! Gail was all for it! :) No convincing necessary. She agreed right away!

    12. Brenda May 8th, 2010 at 21:32

      Today it snowed – May 8 (near North Bay, ON), and yes, it is depressing to have snow on my newly blooming crab apple trees, but it is also very beautiful! The white against the vivid green of newly sprung leaves, with the colours of flowers under a blanket of white – makes me love where I live. And hearing the spring peepers here at night (well, not tonight LOL), is so relaxing – it reminds me of my childhood and takes me back to a very calm and safe place. Ahhhh. So this morning, watching my two daughters playing in the snow and loving it, made me realize how just letting go of all the crap and enjoying the simple things in life can be so peaceful. Thanks for the reminders too.
      Can’t wait to hear about the picnic with Gail. Maybe this year I can make it!

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