• Why I don’t want roses for Valentines Day

    Posted on February 6th, 2009 Saver Queen 18 comments

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    Well, okay.  It’s not as if I would be unhappy if my man walked in the door with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  So maybe I should rephrase this post to “why I don’t expect, need, or demand roses for Valentines Day.”

    Part of my apathy towards roses is, of course, the fact that the prices skyrocket on Valentines day.  But there are a host of other reasons why we should avoid them.

    1. They are unoriginal.  If it’s the thought that counts, roses are one of the least thoughtful gifts you can get.  Why not use your creativity to buy or make a more meaningful gift?

    2. They say nothing about you, your personal taste, who you are, or the nature of the relationship.  Instead, I suggest you find something special for your sweetheart that has more sentimental value, recognizing how you’ve grown as a couple or why you love him or her so much.

    3. They are fleeting.  Roses do not last very long.  Perhaps that’s part of their charm – you have to take in their beauty before they disappear.  But consider something longer lasting – and by that I don’t mean a houseplant – I mean something memorable.  Perhaps splurge on an activity or getaway that will give you happy memories for years to come.

    Case in point. Last weekend, my partner and I went snow tubing at a nearby ski and tubing resort.  We paid $36 in total and that gave us each two hours of utter childlike fun.  On a bright, sunny, wintry day, we flew down the hills together laughing our heads off.  A dozen roses on Valentines Day could cost you double that, but would not provide any of the laughter, shared memories, and sense of freedom or adventure that we enjoyed from our saturday afternoon outing.  

    According to Canadian Living magazine, roses and other cut flowers cut say, “I threw caution to the wind. I did not do the sensible thing today. I send you these because today, I am thinking with my heart, not with my head.”  But there so many other ways to throw caution to the wind – many more original, exciting ways, in fact, that cost a lot less.

    Moreover, splurging without the consent of your partner can either be delightful, or stressful.  If your family is struggling financially right now, having your partner spend so much money on something frivolous may cause more tension than joy.

    For frugal Valentines (or anti-Valentines) craft ideas, check out Crafster – I love some of their ideas!

    I am currently collecting ideas for a new post on fun, free things to do on Valentines Day.  If you have a suggestion, please email me at saverqueen – at – gmail – dot – com, or tweet me: @saverqueen.  If you are a blogger, I will link back to your blog.  Thanks!

    Do you want to receive roses on Valentines day?

    The Saver Queen

    * Image courtesy of Canadian Living

    Crafts / DIY, Entertainment, Valentines Day
     

    18 responses to “Why I don’t want roses for Valentines Day”

    1. Leah February 6th, 2009 at 14:09

      I am so with you on that one – I would rather receive a bunch of wildflowers over roses anyday. I don’t even like roses but my bf always gets them for me (by always, I mean on the requisite holidays)! I think he feels that he has to. I am so a colourful flowers kind of girl anyday.

    2. Saver Queen February 6th, 2009 at 14:15

      Do you think you will ever share your preference with him Leaf?
      For some reason I love cacti. And herb gardens. And wildflowers, like you say.

    3. Diana February 6th, 2009 at 14:33

      I like fresh flowers, but what I really want is a cutting garden so I can just grow them and enjoy them in the yard and in the house, too. I think it will be more cost-efficient than buying bunches, too. :)

    4. Kate February 6th, 2009 at 15:03

      Ah, but it’s not that easy!

      I would rather not receive flowers. I’d rather something a bit more memorable, like a nice dinner, a fun activity, or (as we’re doing this year) as vacation.

      That being said, SO loves giving them to me. He loves their impermenence, he loves the look of them, etc. He brings them home about once a month or so, usually “just cause”. Loblaws Flower of the Week, baby!

    5. Abigail February 6th, 2009 at 15:08

      I’ve found roses boring for ages now. First of all, they have been overbred to the point that standard roses no longer have much of a discernible scent. Second, the price skyrockets to ludicrous heights during Vday — which is why I actually wrote a post proposing frugal folks celebrate on Feb 15th. Third, I like some thought put into my gifts. That’s what makes them special to me.

      My husband knows that my favorite flowers are star-gazer lilies. They smell fabulous, are gorgeous and last quite awhile (for cut flowers, anyway). When he does bother with flowers, those are what he tries to find.

      More importantly, though, he puts thought into gifts for me. That’s what touches my heart. If Valentine’s Day weren’t so riddled with crass commercialism, perhaps it could actually embody romance. Now, it seems to me, it simply embodies another chance for marketers to tell men how they have to act. Real romance — to me, anyway — is about thinking for yourself and coming up with something unique to show you care.

      Or maybe I’m just too cheap to enjoy a holiday that tends to mandate spending like this.

    6. Saver Queen February 6th, 2009 at 15:27

      Abigail, I agree with you. And the marketing you speak of not only tells men how to act, it tells women what to want. It tells us what to feel, what “should” be important to us, what is the definition of love and kindness. I dislike the idea of my relationship and my personal desires being dictated by mass-marketing.

      Diana – what a lovely idea. Oh if only I lived in the south and not cold canada (was -28 C the other night, geez!!)

    7. Miss M February 6th, 2009 at 16:55

      Mr M always asks me before he’ll buy me flowers and of course I say no. I wish he wouldn’t ask and would just buy them, I feel guilty saying yes to something frivolous for myself. I don’t want flowers or anything for valentines day, I think we’ll go out to dinner some night that weekend. A nice meal shared together is better than flowers flown in from South America that wilt in 3 days.

    8. Saver Queen February 6th, 2009 at 17:11

      Miss M – haha yeah, men don’t always realize that women love to be surprised.

      Regarding flying in flowers from other parts of the world – that is a whole other area of concern – the ethics and ecological problems associated with cut flowers. I saw a documentary once on chemicals and the people growing these flowers, who suffered terribly from breathing in these chemicals day after day. It’s a whole other area of debate that I didn’t even get to.

    9. Rosilen Sturdivant February 6th, 2009 at 17:17

      My NeW boyfriend is taking me fishing for VALENTINES DAY! Then he’s going to cook what we catch.i love roses because that’s what my name means,but i’ll take a fun fishing trip any day.The reason he’s my new boyfriend is because he listens! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

    10. Saver Queen February 6th, 2009 at 19:29

      Fishing and eating the catch – that’s so cool! I wish I lived in a warm climate too!

    11. Andrea February 6th, 2009 at 22:57

      Great post, SQ. I agree with this. Plus, why would a girl want her man walking through the door with roses on VD-day when you know full well 1000′s other men are doing the same thoughtless thing. Nothing unique or sentimental about that.
      A few years back my husband did bring me “blue” roses which was different. ~Can’t complain on diamonds, though!

    12. Brenda February 7th, 2009 at 10:16

      I find roses boring too, but I also find them WAY overpriced. I worked in the floral industry and saw the amount the florist paid, and the amount they charged. Big time markup! This was about 12 years ago, but then, the price per rose (not Valentine’s Day), was about 50 cents each that the florist paid. The price for Valentine’s Day doubled to $1.00 per rose. However, on Valentine’s Day a dozen roses would sell for $50 plus! So, $12 the florist paid, and charges WAY over the top for the flowers – and that’s not including the delivery fee. A huge rip off! My husband knows how I feel about flowers from a florist, and he never buys them for me – anytime. My favourite flowers are the ones my daughters pick for me when we go for a walk in the summer – fresh wildflowers. As for Valentine’s Day, I just enjoy getting a card with a written sentiment of how my husband feels about me – I don’t want a gift. Like they say, it’s the thought that counts!

    13. Chetan February 9th, 2009 at 12:18

      Excellent article, SaverQueen! You really inspired me.

      I’m going to make a reference to it in my next blog entry.

    14. Catherine February 9th, 2009 at 15:56

      Excellent post SQ. Have enjoyed all the responses.
      I like the look of roses, but, hate the scent – they remind me of my grandmother’s funeral. Her name was Rose and the place was packed with them. Hubby brings me flowers only occasionally as our furbabies eat them! He knows my favourites are Spring flowers, especially peonies, and as we grow them, I receive them regularly in June LOL!
      Hubby and I are both thoughtful in our gifts to each other. We’ll be married 40 years in August (plus the 3 years we dated before that, plus we’ve known each other for 50 years…)
      He, who does not enjoy dancing, gave me the gift of dance lessons for the two of us.
      He knows I LOVE stickers and will surprise me with different ones several times a year.
      I could go on and on.
      I just finished making the ’52 Of The Many Reasons I Love You’ deck of cards you have on the site here SQ.
      It was fun! They are for Saturday.
      His birthday is the day before, and I’m making homemade licorice candy – it’s his favourite flavour.
      My mother was a wise woman. She told me years ago that you have to work at your relationship every single day…..

    15. Joshua Hull February 9th, 2009 at 19:20

      I’ve got an idea, lets go to the butterfly conservatory and then come home and make dinner together. I love making dinner with you, its really the most fun. :)

    16. Shannon February 10th, 2009 at 09:35

      Okay, I’m not sure where to put this so hopefully someone sees it!

      For anyone who made the call to get that Beechnut parent pack of coupons, this is the week to use them. They include a ‘save .50 on 4 jars of stage 1 food’. The Superstore also currently has a sale on – buy 3 jars and save $1.05. If you buy 12 jars and use 3 coupons the overall cost of the babyfood is reduced to just .20 per jar!

    17. The Personal Finance Playbook February 11th, 2009 at 13:05

      I followed your link from my site here and I couldn’t agree more. My wife is the same way. She’d rather me plant flowers than buy some inflated by supply and demand on a particular day. Good stuff.

    18. The Personal Finance Playbook February 11th, 2009 at 13:14

      I followed your link from my site here and I couldn’t agree more. My wife is the same way. She’d rather me plant flowers than buy something inflated by supply and demand on a particular day. Good stuff.

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