Have a (mutually) frugal Christmas

Since it’s Christmas Eve, I thought I would ‘wrap up’ the holidays by answering a question from one of my readers.

Andrea says:

SQ, I’d love to read a post on this with tips, etiquette and whatnot and varying budgets. What do you do when say you’re watching your cents very carefully, perhaps your gift-giver isn’t and really doesn’t care of their own finances..or they really can afford to just give but then it’s awkward sometimes…?

So after a holiday of aiming to be frugal, here my thoughts based on what I’ve learned.

1. If you are thinking about scaling back this year, it’s a good idea to get everyone on the same page.  You can mention to your colleagues, friends, and family that you are thinking that it might be a good time to simplify the holidays and see what they say.  Many people find excessive shopping a burden and may be grateful you bought it up.  Maybe you can come to some mutual agreement.

2. Once you’ve made your decision, consider letting people know in an email or letter, but do it with as much tact and grace as you can muster.  I would probably try something like,

“This has been a hard year for many families with so many lay-offs and an economic downturn.  To ease the stress off all of us, the Adams family would like to simplify Christmas this year and we have decided not to exchange gifts. In lieu of the money we would spend, we will be making a donation to our local food bank.  We hope you will join us in our efforts to simplify and scale back. Thank you for understanding. We are so blessed to have such caring friends in our lives.”

Yes, you do run the risk of offending some, but I think most people will understand and even be relieved. 

3. Consider making a donation in lieu of the gifts.  You do not have to send a donation in lieu of the entire amount you would spend but could make a small but symbolic gesture. 

4. If you make a decision not to exchange, stick to it. I know this is hard, but if you’ve made your wishes clear and your friends still choose to buy gifts then that is their choice. Accept it and express your gratitude and don’t feel guilty.

5. Offer to have people over for a meal or spend time together instead of spending money.

6. Of course, you do have the option to participate in small gift giving in the holidays.  If you choose to do this, keep a small stockpile of little gifts that you can easily share. You can gather up some good buys during boxing day sales or all year round.  Just keep them simple and stick to a budget.

7. Consider “mass producing” small, easy homemade gifts. For example, Crystal Paine at Money Saving Mom made up a whole bunch of little drink mixes.  Try to choose one or two things that you can make for lots of people.  Making more of fewer creations wills save you time and energy.

8. Regift. I actually think regifting from time to time is okay - as long as you think the person would genuinely enjoy the gift. Regifting something you know the person would probably not use is not in good taste, but regifting a lovely gift that you’re sure the person will like is fair game.

9. Consider drawing names. You can do the traditional “secret santa” or try something new, like a donation draw.  Pick names amongst your friends and then make a donation to a charity that reflects your friend’s values and hopes. If your friend loves animals, for example, make a donation to the Humane Society.  This way you can combine gift giving with your philanthropic plans and get a tax-receipt, too!

10. If you have a large family, you can try our family’s trick: Have everyone bring a $5 gift for a person of their own gender. Then drop it in pile.  Everyone gets to pick up a gift and no one has to spend a lot.  And everyone has the option not to participate.

Other tips and strategies for your next frugal Christmas

1. Plan ahead, way ahead. If you’re making gifts yourself, they will take more time so recognize that you need to set aside more time in advance to avoid stress.

2. Factor generosity into your budget.  Plan to be generous with tips? Hoping to make donations or contribute gifts in kind?  Work these financial goals into your budget to avoid having to choose between being generous and being practical.

3. Factor the cost of materials into your budget, too.  Homemade gifts aren’t free.  Calculate the cost of materials in advance.

I hope this helps with next year’s plans!

But this year, concentrate on your many blessings and congratulate yourself for all your hard work.  Don’t expect perfection. Maybe you went over budget. Maybe you expected your homemade gifts to come out looking like something Martha Stewart hand crafted and your expectations of yourself fell short.  But whatever the outcome, be proud and happy that you worked hard to make a change and act in ways that reflect your values. Now it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labour!

Have a wonderful Christmas Eve!