Reflections on a Christmas Budget @ Saver Queen

Reflections on a Christmas Budget

Posted on December 22nd, 2008 Saver Queen 18 comments

Refelections

With the holidays are upon us - yesterday was the first night of Hanukkah and Christmas is only a few days away - I thought it was a good opportunity to reflect on how well we’ve met our financial goals and what lessons we’ve learned this season.

I must admit that this Christmas I have really done things differently than I normally do. We scaled way back. I have made mostly homemade gifts for people and almost all my store bought gifts were simple. Usually at Christmas I spend hours in the malls, scouring for the “perfect” gift, and always going way over budget. Although I usually have fun doing it, this year was an opportunity to simplify my life and reflect on what is really important to me.

I’ve read a number of blogs recently where the authors are second guessing their Christmas budgets, even going so far to worry about becoming “stingy” or Grinch-like. As Christmas nears, it’s easy to question the decisions we’ve made, wondering whether it is really enough.

For me, when it comes to gift giving, the difference between being frugal and being cheap is an important one. Being cheap means you are only concerned with the price-tag and not concerned with how the gift makes the person feel. But a frugal gift is one that is rich with sentiment.

Being frugal is about living consciously. It is about learning to recognize and rejoice in the bounty within which we already live. It’s about using all means at our disposal - time, energy, creativity, love - and not just money, to accomplish our goals, including helping others.

My goal in life in general is to make a difference, to contribute to the world, to perpetuate peace and compassion. I’m far from perfect, but that’s my goal. I aim to be a generous person. But what does this mean, really? What is our purpose of giving a gift? If it is to show love and gratitude, and if it is given with the intention of making someone’s life a little brighter, does it really have to be attached with a high price tag?

I think it’s sad that we’ve been told so many times that it does. No wonder it’s hard to step back from that and choose a different path. But when I remember the heartfelt Christmas letters my Dad used to write me, and the homemade coupons he used to give us as kids, I remember that a store bought gift could never be as meaningful.

I heard on the radio the other day some lovely stories about families who were choosing to eliminate gifts entirely, or severely scale back, in order to put 100% of their efforts towards helping others. Entire families were dedicating themselves to helping out at shelters and food banks throughout the holidays. Even the adolescent children were on board. Really, what greater lesson can you share with your children, than one about the joy that comes from selflessness, generosity and goodwill?

So, how did I do with my Christmas budget? In all honesty, we did splurge a little more than we intended. But I also did not do an ounce of shopping in a mall. All but two of the gifts I bought this year were from small, local stores in my community. I supported local businesses, shortened the time I spent shopping, and spent more time in the kitchen and crafting, making gifts. I also reused at least some of my gift wrapping supplies from last year and even the tissue paper I saved from my friend’s bridal shower a couple of months ago. I also did not buy anything for myself; by avoiding the malls and shortening the time I spent shopping, I did not even get tempted.

How did you all do with your holiday budgets? Did you stay on track or get led astray? And most importantly, how do you feel about your decisions?

Christmas
18 responses to “Reflections on a Christmas Budget”
1. Kate December 22nd, 2008 at 12:35
  
  This year’s budget success was mixed.
  
  I resolved to cut way back this year. Scale back on presents in general and handmake as many as possible. We did cut back some, and handmaking was a reasonable success. For instance, 4 of hubby’s 6 Hanukkah gifts (we’re not together for 2 nights this year because of the commuting) were handmade, as were several presents for the family.
  
  My two big challenges were acquaintance gifts and the sheer amount of time required for handmaking presents.
  
  I’m not big on acquaintance gifts. I would much rather not give someone another candle or potporri (sp?) dish or something. It’s wasteful for the environment, my pocketbook, and, in all likelihood, it’s going to get regifted anyways. Problem is, not everyone shares my frustration with this. For instance, I got a furtive call from hubby the other night while he was out with some friends with whom we had previously decided no presents: “Kate! They brought presents! For each of us! Wrapped! Can you throw something together?” *sigh*
  
  I suspect that we’re going to take a page from my mother’s book and go out Boxing Day this year and stock up on some generic gifts that we can keep in the closet for when this happens again. It always does.
  
  My sanity took a hit with the homemade gifts. While I had set up a money budget for gifts this year, I hadn’t set up a TIME budget. Let it be known: I HAVE LEARNED. If you’re going to focus on handmade gifts, start making your budgetS in September. That way you don’t wind up scurrying aorund town trying to buy supplies in between work, classes, other responsibilities and holiday events. Not to mention store hours: the 24 hour Zellers nearby was my saviour, but sleep took a major hit this season.
  
  It did get me thinking about what we want Hanukkah to be like when we have kidlings though. I think we’re going to have to start early to break the consumption cycle. I would love to see us do a family activity every night for the 8 nights, rather than scrambling to do presents for everyone, but we’ll see how that works in practice.
2. Saver Queen December 22nd, 2008 at 12:46
  
  I know what you mean about homemade gifts requiring vast amounts of time. I hadn’t really thought about this either. Luckily I started planning early, but with the move coming up and everything, I would by lying to say it didn’t add some extra pressure. Regarding the acquaintance gifts, though, I wouldn’t have given anything to that couple who gave you the wrapped gifts if you had previously agreed not to exchange. If they made that decision to ignore your mutually agreed upon strategy, then that is their choice, but you are not obligated to participate in it. I agree with you about the acquaintance gifts, they are just not necessary. Maybe next year you can left everyone know that you will not be exchanging and will be making a donation instead. If people still choose to ignore it, then it’s their own choice.
  
  I love the idea of doing a family activity for each of the 8 nights.
3. Kate December 22nd, 2008 at 12:55
  
  I’m still working on the last one… I have the feeling I’ll be sewing until the very last second for that one… The others are done and I’m starting to breathe again. Good thing, because there’s a lot of sewing ahead
  
  The best part of the acquaintance gift debacle was that, after all my scrambling, we wound up giving them the exact same bottle of wine they bought us. At least I grabbed ours out of our stash! Nothing lost, I guess
4. Amber December 22nd, 2008 at 15:09
  
  Mixed successes here as well. With the baby I’m not able to handmake as much as I did last year, and I have one more person to buy for. All in all, though, I think we did all right. I am very conscious about what sorts of toys I buy the little ones. Although I might spend more for a local, natural, handmade toy I feel better about the purchase and I know I’m not perpetuating the mass-marketing to children.
  
  Next year I’ll be able to do more sewing, knitting, and baking. I’m looking ahead and planning for how I can swing that when I have a little more time to myself.
5. Brenda December 22nd, 2008 at 15:20
  
  This year, I made tote bags for some people on my lists. Easy to sew, and with fabric paint, can be very personal! Teachers gifts were homemade cookies and Snowman Soup (hot chocolate, choc. chips, and mini marshmallows layered in a parchment cone). I got my husband a gently used set of cross country skis for $30. My kids are where I spent the most money, but still did well to keep under budget and I’m sure they will love their gifts. Overall, we did well, and the extravagence of previous years was definitely toned down. For me, spending time with family and the spirit of the season are the most important.
6. Erran December 22nd, 2008 at 15:38
  
  Another fine post SQ. Thanks for the reflective introspection. Given all that I read on these blogs, I’m glad I do not have to worry about partaking in the x-mas festivities (I’m a Hanukkah celebrator ). I have no idea what this consumer pressure is like, and I’m thankful for that. It’s bad enough I have to grudge through stores just for “normal” stuff during this time of year. Ack! Look for gifts for people now? Huh? What?! Craziness. Keep it simple and sentimental is a great message.
  
  By the way, I’ve let you down on the whole food donation challenge. Honestly, I was thinking more long term with that challenge, not just holidays. Nevertheless, I was inspired by that post and will likely look into once work stops being ridiculously busy, and I get settled in my new place.
  
  Kate (and possibly others): Happy Hanukkah!
  SQ and crew: Merry Christmas!
7. Saver Queen December 22nd, 2008 at 15:58
  
  Thank you everyone for sharing! Despite the challenges it sounds like everyone has done so well! Great work!
  
  Erran, I know, shopping this time of year is totally crazy and I’m more than happy to avoid the stores! Actually, my sister and her husband celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas (our family celebrates Christmas, his family celebrates Hanukkah and they participate in BOTH) I have no idea how they manage it all! Best of luck at work and with settling into your new place! (Are you still in Winnipeg?)
8. Andrea December 22nd, 2008 at 17:00
  
  Nice post, SQ!
  I can relate with Kate on the awkwardness of gifts in some situations. SQ, I’d love to read a post on this with tips, etiquette and whatnot and varying budgets. What do you do when say you’re watching your cents very carefully, perhaps your gift-giver isn’t and really doesn’t care of their own finances..or they really can afford to just give but then it’s awkward sometimes…? I’ve seen people just buy just to keep the peace. (I think on a personal level, not referring to donating to a good cause here, if you’re not comfortable inviting them to your house for dinner in lieu of a gift, then you certainly shouldn’t be reaching into the bank account for a token gift.-I’m not referring to teacher gifts or the like where it’s a gratitude gift, etc.)
  
  I find throughout the year, I have the most free time in the summer. I’m going to pencil in my daytimer during the summer months to get handmade Christmas gifts done here! For Real!! It doesn’t feel like Christmas, but November & December I always run out of time and I’ve learned my lesson long enough! : ).
  Prep. in the summer! and “chill” in the winter.
  ~Merry Christmas to all…3 more sleeps!
9. Catherine December 22nd, 2008 at 17:25
  
  Great post SQ ~ and I’ve enjoyed the comments.
  I started Gail’s jars November 1st and it has been a learning curve. That being said, I think we’ve done pretty well. Our 2 credit cards will be at zero December 31st. I wasn’t in one mall.
  Have made many gifts this year especially for acquaintances. Bulk of cash went for our children, and even then we’ve scaled back - an agreement by all of us (children are adults).
  I think my most favourite gift this year was one I couriered to my 78 year old aunt in Toronto. I did up a box of all sorts of goodies and one was my grandmother’s nut hermit cookie recipe along with ziplock bags with all the varying ingredients in it - she’ll just have to add the milk and eggs. I ground fresh cinnamon and cloves and grated fresh nutmeg. The ’surprise’ was the black English walnuts from our two trees in the backyard. In the Fall of 2007 I picked them off the ground and took the green shell off. I washed them (they stain terribly!) and they had been drying in our basement since. It took me THREE HOURS to get 1 cup of walnuts for the cookies. Very tedious work. Well you may ask why I did this? I got the response I so desired. My aunt called to say the taste of those walnuts took her back to when she was a little girl visiting her aunts farm. She was thrilled to bits. So, of everything I did for others this Christmas, I think that one is my favourite.
  Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all!!
10. Erran December 22nd, 2008 at 18:00
  
  Yes, still in Winnipeg unfortunately. Haha. I’d rather take the x-inches of snow over the -25 temp. Brr… So tempting to go into 7-11/Tim’s/etc for something warm to drink these days, but I’ll stick with my tea.
  
  Celebrating both holidays can be handful no doubt, but we don’t have to worry about a tree or stocking stuffers! Just need to dust off the ol’ candle holder and light some candles, and partake in all the deep fried food. Mmmm….
  
  Catherine, great story. Glad to hear your aunt got a youth flashback from your cookies. That says much.
11. Miss M December 22nd, 2008 at 18:17
  
  I think a lot of christmas guilt derives from our concern about how others will perceive us. I’m definitely giving fewer presents this year and found myself worrying whether I bought “enough”. Will someone else feel I’m being a grinch? I’m giving a few handmade presents, which I do every year. I worry that some people will perceive homemade as “cheap”, though there was loads of time and labor involved. I’ve done OK with my budget but feel I could do better with giving gifts from the heart instead of the wallet.
12. Omzig December 22nd, 2008 at 18:51
  
  Thanks for the great post SQ. I have recently become a fan of Gail’s and of yours. This post speaks to me because on my husbands side, they do stockings. Huge stockings (like above my knee and wide), which are filled with dollar store knick knacks. I hate it. “but its tradition, all the way back to my Grandma” my husband will whine if I suggest not partaking of the stocking shopping. I’m sure the stockings his Grandma was filling were not as large! This year I bought two candy items and a reusable shopping bag for the adults and about four candy items for the kids, and called it done. I feel a bit guilty about it, but I really don’t want to buy more STUFF!!
  
  For all my acquaintance gifts and even teacher gifts I have a family newsletter with my year in review in poem format and color pictures of the year that I give out. Everyone really looks forward to it, and it only costs me my time to create it and a couple of dollars for printing etc. Oh, and for the teacher this year, I showed up at noon on the last day of school and took over lunch supervision for her so she could kick back in the staff room. I don’t know of a better gift for a teacher . . .
13. sharon rose December 23rd, 2008 at 04:07
  
  Hi there-I kept under budget too, so am very pleased. Very well done to you, you’ve obviously thought and worked hard into making Christmas special for your loved ones too.
14. Michelle December 23rd, 2008 at 07:58
  
  Omzig, I soooo know what you mean about getting gifts that, quite frankly, are useless. Like clothing that never fits and is from a store you never shop at (sorry to the Walmart fans, but it’s not a boycott per se, just a personal “I break out into a sweat even to pull into the parking lot” sorta thing). I never get around to bringing the gifts back for a refund or anything, so they get passed off to the sally ann bin after a year of sitting in my closet and me feeling guilty about not being more thankful for the gift.
  This year we scaled back on the kids by almost half of last year, but my daughter, God love her, asked for a Webkinz and pj’s from Santa, so what would she care if she doesn’t get the latest and greatest electronic gadget?! My husband and I had a $150 limit on each other. Well, that’s what I told him, so if he’s gotten more I’ll look like a cheapskate, but oh well. I did warn him!
  Have a great and frugal Christmas all. If you did already go overboard and are dreading January’s mail, take it in stride to work harder, save early, and do better for yourself and your sanity (not to mention wallet) next Christmas!
15. Catherine December 23rd, 2008 at 16:01
  
  Thanks Erran! If you ever get the chance to sample English black walnuts, please do - they are so much better than those we buy in the grocery store, such a distinctive flavour they have! Happy Hanukkah!
16. Saver Queen December 23rd, 2008 at 20:53
  
  Catherine, thank you for sharing that story. It was so touching that I had to share it with my entire family - my Mom was actually brought to tears! That is the true meaning of Christmas.
  To everyone else, thank you for sharing your great ideas and thoughts!
17. Saver Queen » Blog Archive » Follow up: Homemade Christmas gift January 11th, 2009 at 12:59
  
  [...] loved hearing about everyone’s homemade gifts - especially Catherine’s story which nearly brought tears to my [...]
18. Three strategies for a greener, simpler, happier holiday @ Saver Queen December 7th, 2009 at 21:39
  
  [...] of homemade gifts, I just re-read my post from December 22, 2009, Reflections on a Christmas Budget, and the main message still hits home: For me, when it comes to gift giving, the difference between [...]
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